1. |
Patron of the Arts
06:20
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Hello Rolling Stone
Welcome to my island lair
I built it round a hot spring
Please hang your own coat
Hiring servants just seemed too weird
Apart from two ladies in waiting
To help me brush my hair
And I hope you'll excuse the mess
I'm a little absent minded
I hire a pantomime group
To re-enact the house work
So I remember to do it
But it's their week off
The food here's nothing grand
My cooking skills are basic at best
Though I employ several painters
Two come every day
Capture lunch and dinner in oil
And on Sundays it's a sculptor
You'll see last week at the louvre
Ah you're wondering about the dance troupe
Well I don't always find it easy
To get my point across so the dancers will interpret
My mood and then express it
That way, things are clear
And I hope you enjoy your time here
And I hope you put me in a good light
I'm the wealthiest the strangest indeed the most infamous
Patron of the arts
I see you'd like to know
All about my daily routing
How I begin every morning
Each day starts at 6
A string quartet sits next to my bed
And plays some Shostakovitch
To remind me life is good
Then it's down to my gym to work-out
No there's no personal trainer
Just a roster of heavy metal bands
Various sub-genres
Depending on the work-out
Then shower, breakfast, work
Then, after lunch
It's time to deal with e-mail and calls
And all communication
Now on the pay roll
I've got the perfect trio to help
A composer and a poet
And a lieder soprano
So I let them take care of all that
While I go about my dailies
What's that? Yes, it's a fact
I did make all this money
Writing silly folk songs
What makes you question that?
I hope you'll enjoy your time here
And I hope you put me in a good light
I'm the wealthiest the strangest indeed the most infamous
Patron of the arts
I can tell you're confused
That's the Greek chorus I hire
To keep me on the straight and narrow
I don't know what I did
Before I had them follow me round
Now I remember what I'm doing
When I move from room to room
That's all the time we have today
You can see yourself out
Head through the menagerie
There you'll find the boat man
He'll take you to the city
Yeah I know he's a bit creepy
That's what I pay him for
I hope you enjoyed your time here
And I hope you put me in a good light
I'm the wealthiest the strangest most selfish and outrageous
Patron of the arts
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2. |
Curmudgeon
02:34
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What are the young people wearing
They look ridiculous
How can they take themselves seriously
When they go around dressed like that
What is this new fangled product
Looks like a pile of bull
Why would anyone think that they need this
How did it make it to the shelves
You may call me a hater
Think I'm set in my ways
I won't go with the flow cause I think it's going over
Some rocky cliffs ahead
What if you're all swept over
What are you gonna do then
Bet you're gonna wish you'd been a little grumpier
Wish you'd been a curmudgeon
What is this crap they call music
Standards have fallen I see
This don't hold a candle to yesterdays sound
The classics of twenty-fifteen
What's with these gidgits and gadgets
And new ways of looking at things
Humanity was perfect when I was 35
It's all been downhill since then
You may call me a hater
Think I'm set in my ways
I won't go with the flow cause I think it's going over
Some rocky cliffs ahead
What if you're all swept over
What are you gonna do then
Bet you're gonna wish you'd been a little grumpier
Wish you'd been a curmudgeon
They called me a hater
See what happened to them
I had the last laugh but I'm laughing all alone
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3. |
Blind Date
03:23
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There in the corner of the bar sits my date wearing a silly hat
Like they said
There sits an individual can be counted on to follow through
With what they say
I introduce myself and sit and the conversation carries on
Fluidly
Everything's starting out so well it's all starting out so well
But that taste in music is questionable
I'm not convinced we even saw the same film
We disagree about The Fountainhead
Is that a deal breaker?
They are polite to all the staff here's a person with integrity
Confidence
Their table manners are just fine, nothing fancy nothing from a barn
Thankfully
They seem genuinely concerned that I find enjoyment in my meal
It's so sweet
But as the evening carries on as the evening carries on
Our diets and hobbies don't seem compatible
They like the morning and I'm a night owl
It's not clear we share many values at all
Ain't that a deal breaker?
Look at that face and hear that laugh how I wonder what they think of me?
Am I too negative?
The evening nears it's end and I'm quite surprise to be asked back to their's
For a 'drink'
An invitation I accept, I accept because you never know
You never know
Where things might lead
And at the very least
At the very least
The sex might be good
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4. |
The Wave
02:26
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Warm sun, bare skin, braced for cold
Shocking pleasure of immersion
Plant my toes, grip the sand
Extend my arms, caress the surface
And wait
Gentle, gentle, are the waves
The big spray hits when I'm not looking
Takes advantage of my lapse
Scoops my body up and slams my
Insignificant form down
Down to drag along the bottom
Dislodging snails and habitations
Hair like netting catches seaweed
Tangles round my face and throat
Choking salt spitting liquid
I'm ejected, used, exhausted
Bobbing like the wooden treasures
Shaped, softened and displaced by
The ocean.
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5. |
Under the Label
03:58
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We should have had a lovely time
A pleasant evening shared with friends
Around the table gathered for a meal
We set the places all so nicely
Matching linens, place cards too
I was so looking forward to the night
But no! Instead we're here in this cave
We planned a dinner party
Now we're a party of adventurers
I was prepared to face a mountain of dishes
But now we're facing certain doom
And as I gaze into the gaping maw of death I ask
Whatever possessed me to look under the label
On the can of condensed milk
The recipe it promised, turned out to be a spell
And the magic baking powder must have lived up to it's name
We didn't open up the oven, we opened up a gate
By now our guests had all arrived
And in the kitchen did converge
Wine was set to breathing fore our meal
The food was all prepared
Only one thing left to go
When the time rang I beamed "Ah, the desert"
But no! I've never been so wrong
How did my dinner party
Become a party of adventurers
I was prepared to seek out the finest vintage
Now I seek some magic sword
And as I'm gazing on the teeth that could be swords I ask
Whatever possessed me to look under the label
On the sweetened condensed milk
The recipe it promised, turned out to be a spell
And the magic baking powder must have lived up to it's name
We didn't open up the oven, we opened up a gate
They all look to me like I'm some chosen one
To lead us through this maze, return us to our homes
With only oven mitts, craft beer apron for armour
I fear that we are destined not to have but to be dinner
I wish I'd read less novels and spent more time at the gym
And as I'm slipping down the gullet to my doom I ask
Whatever possessed me to look under the label
On the sweetened condensed milk
The recipe it promised, turned out to be a spell
And the magic baking powder must have lived up to it's name
We didn't open up the oven, we opened up a gate
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Kyla Tilley Newfoundland and Labrador
Kyla Tilley plays guitar, wears high heels, and writes sometimes sad, often funny, occasionally disconcerting, story-telling songs which rarely rhyme.
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