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Bloom and Grow

by Kyla Tilley

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Double pocket eco-wallet including 12 page booklet with all lyrics and some lovely floral images.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Bloom and Grow via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Streaming + Download

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1.
Bloom & Grow 03:43
Bloom and Grow Running through the undergrowth Popping up to get a peek If the coast is clear enough to Get away Get away from all your thoughts Get out from your winter wrap Let the butterflies come out and Flutter round Bloom and grow child Bloom and grow Reach for the mountains don't brace for the fall Time enough for caution When the day is done Window opened up for spring Mouldy where the damp got in Where the paint has chipped away Clean it off Let the fresh air enter in Let it rush through all your things Gather up the dust and make it Blow away Bloom and grow child Bloom and grow Reach for the mountains don't brace for the fall Time enough for caution when the day is done When you hit the ground Chances are you'll bounce Then you'll be stronger And you'll be wiser too You'll still be foolish But you won't mind so much Summer's rays are creeping in Search light in the living room Pouring light on all the things you Hide away Memories folded in a drawer Thoughts we bundled up and stored Locked away, forgot, till they came Back around Bloom and grow child Bloom and grow Embrace the moment don't dwell on the fall Leave the reflection till the day is done Bloom and grow child Bloom and grow Reach for the mountains don't brace for the fall Time enough for caution when the day is done When you hit the ground Chances are you'll bounce Bloom and grow Bloom and grow
2.
I'm trapped in the basement I don't have an ashtray and I spend my time wasting and fretting on bad days Black mould on the lungs Burn holes in all of my shoes Chorus: If I could focus on good deeds not bad I might have spent winter not feeling so down Replaying what she's saying over and endless and on I'd have strode out on the ice with my swimsuit and axe I'd have chopped a big hole with a few clumsy whacks and I'd drown out her voice there in the frozen pond Throw your arms out Unfurl your cloak Push on through Do the butterfly stroke Kick out hard and ride on the wave that you make Let the murk and the muck pass underneath Let the grasses and fishes tickle your feet Chorus Float on your back Take a breath deep With ears full of water You can't hear her speak Kick out hard and ride on the wave that you make Let the murk and the muck pass underneath Let the grasses and fishes tickle your feet Fingertips wrinkled Up high on bliss Skin smells like pond's boggy dank kiss Skin prickles and shiver, lips blue, digits pale Joy quivers to bursting in euphoric flail Chorus Down in the bog Cold from the spring Leaches and eels to the rocks clinging Musky and muddy and stinking of peat Frog song, fly bitten I am complete
3.
The League 03:51
The League The cataclysm swept most life-forms from the earth Those with the means prepared a refuge underground While those without sought shelter where they could And did their best to make a go with what remained Here up above we toil and bleed and sweat together Scrounge what we may and force what crops we can And when the day is done we celebrate our fortunes We play we dance we feast We share our bodies and our songs I will get there I will play in The League I will go further than any previous challenger Everyone needs heroes and we've found ours in this game Brutal and majestic pieced from memories of those that lived before I grew up watching Juggers coming through our town I honed my skills and when the best came I made them take note of me Down below they've hoarded luxuries from bygone days Their athletes fed and clothed no harvest chores to cut into their trade While on the surface we must travel town to town Our muscle mass depleting with our hopes and dreams of playing in the league I will get there I will be the best Quick I'll know the feeling of silk on my skin All my lovers will bathe in scented oil I will never have to scrape in the dust for a meal All my bruises, wounds and broken bones Will be tended to and I'll bear the mark of The League You may see that mark Think of me a slave Despite my gains you'll say I never will be one of them But I don't want their class I just want what they have If I'm a slave then I am only a slave to my craft I will get there Face their champions Three rounds one hundred stones I'll ground them into the earth And they will salute me I will get there I will play in The League I will go further than any previous challenger And I will walk slowly I will walk slowly I will walk slowly When I win
4.
Garden Wish 03:58
Garden Wish Modern life moves much too fast Slick and overwhelming Excesses of Everything Flashing lights Screaming phones Surely there's a place to hide Sanctuary from the noise Shelter from the turbulence Serenity Repose Flowers have nothing to say Flowers have no where to go Cast their spell upon a room Colourful Calming Would that she could turn into a bee then she could fly between the petals of each flower in the garden Would that she need never leave the garden Where the flowers bloom eternal People can be perplexing Their motives inscrutable They can be irrational Baffling Hard to gauge Surely there's a place to flee Shelter from the confusion Sanctuary from it all Serenity Repose Flowers have nothing to hide Flowers tell no truths no lies Cast their roots into the earth Drink it in Growing tall Would that she could turn into a bee then she could fly between the petals of each flower in the garden Would that she need never leave the garden Where the flowers bloom eternal Turn away from The maelstrom Tempers flaring Cruel laughter of urban life In the garden Cool and shaded Roses beckon Through ribbons of sunlight Human life can be complex Joyous and disquieting What's the meaning of it all Questioning, pondering Surely there's a simple truth Sanctuary from the doubt Shelter from misgiving Serenity Repose Flowers have time to bide Flowers have one thing on their mind Cast their seed upon the wind Propagate Flower kind Would that she could turn into a bee then she could fly between the petals of each flower in the garden Would that she need never leave the garden Where the flowers bloom eternal
5.
Apathy 03:49
Apathy There was joy once There was sorrow There was a confusing mixture of the two There was hatred Boiling over Disgust and fear with caused a little thrill There was anger that made my body shake There was triumph that did the same There was desire that clouded everything And then there was nothing There was drive once Inner horse power Fuelled a revolution There was anguish There was longing A sense of dread which gripped me to my core There was defeat that left me feeling drained Explosions of arousal, that felt the same Emptiness so palpable that it had mass And then there was nothing There was interest And contentment A floating pleasant feeling There was awe There was wonder A reverence even for the profane There was guilt and shame which made my stomach quake Anticipation that did the same There was fantasy that overrode it all And then there was nothing
6.
Shoe Shopping: A Poem Oh, Hello Yes, I see you I felt you calling my name That shade of pink So unusual and yet, so, me That line, so exquisite A silhouette so simple and yet unlike any other on the market A décolleté so subtle yet filled with wicked promise That heel, so elegant So flawlessly supports my weight And moulds so strikingly my leg Standing in that firm embrace I channel some force from beyond So Ethereal I take one step, then two, then twirl A gasp A sigh A squeal There is no doubt I am taking you home
7.
I Am Chaos 03:32
I Am Chaos I spent a day or three redesigning the inside of every closet Charted out the kitchen cabinets Tossed the things I never use I entered all my shoes painstakingly Into a database Used the output to display them By colour, height and style Oh how wonderful it is But I am chaos I wage a constant battle Against my own struggle for a magazine photo ready home I am chaos I walk into a room and explode Igniting the dark rule of disarray But when I close my eyes I can see Counters clear and tables free Chairs that can be sat upon Without moving one damn thing Laundry folded put away Dishes done three times a day Shampoo bottles in a line Hair pins, make-up stowed at hand It can't always be this way For I am chaos I wage a constant battle Against my own struggle for a magazine photo ready home I am chaos I walk into a room and explode Igniting the dark rule of disarray People say let it go Only those without goals can have very tidy homes But I want to have it all I don't see why I can't But I am Chaos I am Chaos I am Chaos I am Chaos I am Chaos I am Chaos
8.
The Dragon 07:39
The Dragon I might be kinder than I look But I still find myself talking with my fists Solving problems the only way I know how Trying to fit into a world that's moved ahead Trying to fit into a system that's too small Begin to wonder why I'm trying to fit at all I've got places to be Things to do Obligations to meet People depending on me I can't let them down I've got debts to repay Wrongs to right Skill to learn Hunger to satiate How far can I climb? I follow this code as I was taught No way around it that's how I was brought up Living my life the only way I know how I've forgiven the men I looked up to And I've forgiven those that moved against me They're forgiven but did I forgive myself? Missing cats and Dine and dashers Pro-ball players Needing practice Foiling scams Impressing damsels Into the sex hotel Hit me stand down Night on the town I can out drink all of you clowns Trade your watch in I'll do your job I don't have time for this! I've got people to see Calls to make Punks to beat down Questions need answering I can't let this go I've got money to earn Heat to build Commitments to keep but Somehow I'm always too late And I think I just said The wrong thing again I've made mistakes in the past Things I can't take back Can't really say that I'm proud But what's done is done I did what I thought was the right thing I live my life like a real man Face the consequences for my actions Walking my path the only way I know how I chose this path and I will stick with it I chose this path for better or for worse Took so long to learn the path was mine to choose The path was mine to choose The path was mine to choose
9.
One Foot in Front of the Other One foot in front of the other Breathe in on the count of three exhaling on the count of two Think about which part of my foot strikes the pavement with the most force Make adjustments to my posture focus on the task at hand And then just run One foot in front of the other Landing softly lightly relaxed keeping up a steady pace Shoulders loose no tension to be found I float over my feet My mind is clear my mind is on the open road ahead And I just run Run toward the bubble arch They'll record the time you took Hang a medal round your neck then You can let your heart beat slow One foot in front of the other That's all that I have to do just keep on going don't fade out Did I get enough hydration did I get ample rest Am I really only half way through this did that marker lie? What have I done? Run toward the bubble arch They'll have fruit and protein shakes They will take your picture there then You can lie down in the grass One foot in front of the other Find my rhythm let it take me let it fuel me down the stretch Soaking in the atmosphere, the wind the trees the other runners Let myself enjoy the moment Then I just run Passed the last water station 2 k to go Grab some high fives to pump me up for the last stretch energy gels consumed and loaded carbs burned I conquered the road behind me Finish line's in sight Run toward the bubble arch They'll record the time I took Hang a medal round my neck then I can let my heart beat slow Run toward the bubble arch They'll have fruit and protein shakes They will take my picture there then I can lie down in the grass
10.
The Circle 05:04
The Circle Waiting in this circle Enclosed by fighting men All eyes are upon me and the fate held in my arms Strength Drawn from the herald's recitation of my line Each memory of valour emboldens our resolve Life's minutes tick on by as I watch my foe approach I do not know him, I ignore his list of deeds I clear my mind of everything Focus on my body Breathing steady hands are warm They grip my sword hilt gently And I don't give a thought to the doubts that turn inside Will this be the last time Am I prepared to die Live or die my name will be recorded in the bard's song Standing in this circle We are all that ever was Taking one another's measure comparing battles fought No thoughts for our commanders, our cities or their plight We've come here for glory, for blood and tales to tell We two are not so different but it's I who will stand tall Or perhaps I'm just some other fool bound for a cedar pyre But I clear my mind of everything I focus on this moment I've been here many times before It's I who puts my hand up I don't give a thought to the doubts that turn inside Will this be the last time Am I prepared to die Live or die my name will be recorded in the bard's song Live or die my name will be recorded in the bard's song Some commend my bravery My virtue they extol To step into the circle, shouldering the load that holds the lives of all these soldiers And those for whom they fight That burden doesn't touch me I think not of them at all I clear my mind of everything I focus on reacting Dodge and parry blow for blow In here I'm truly living We came here to grasp at immortality Live or die my name will be recorded in the bard's song I will live forever when the scholars carve my name in stone
11.
After the Battle Peaceful cacophony of Early morning rouses me Lying there my consciousness Drifting, floating, sighing Morning dew so refreshing As is the breeze Caressing my skin I smell the dead The blood that's spilled All around me I hear the life that thrives It tears through all our Elaborate plans Hear it mocking as Petty our quarrels Thought I'd sip from The cup of victory Instead I lie here In this forest alive Birds circling overhead Their vibrant feathers gleam Sun reflecting gold on steel Shining, blinding Am I in some cathedral? For which god was it built To whom should I pray I smell the dead The blood that's spilled All around me I hear the life that thrives It tears through all our Elaborate plans Hear it mocking as Petty our quarrels Thought I'd sip from The cup of victory Instead I lie here In this forest alive I hear the life that thrives After the battle
12.
Song Like John grown round his guitar like a tree twists about the fence to your mother's back garden the thorns scratched your legs in the raspberry patch so you wrote a song down in the margins the chords may be simple and the lyrics run long but there are no rules here so you won't be wrong the sentiment tea's been brewed strong and you want to write a song like John through the rumble of his voice I'm in smoky rooms the swirling in the sunlight that blossoms and blooms a comfort like your mother calling you home from angel place so you wrote it all down in the margins the chords maybe simple and the lyrics run long but there are no rules here so you won't go wrong the sentiment tea's been brewed strong and you want to write a song like john tragedy and comedy on his pretty face wisdom and poetry found at the dog race you find yourself breathing where the air smells like snakes so you wrote the song down in the margins the chords may be simple and the lyrics run long And the sentiment tea' been brewed strong there are no rules here so you won't be wrong if you want to write a song like John if you want to write a song like John if you want to write a song like John

about

A mercurial collection of songs about personal growth, self-acceptance, and the obstacles that get in the way of an individual's quest for immortality.

Each of the songs on Bloom & Grow focuses in some way on the very human drive to do better, accomplish great things, and leave something of ourselves behind. As this is no easy endeavour, themes of depression, regret, uncertainty, and self-doubt are found throughout.

It is a very mercurial album which tells the stories of a number of solitary individuals, mostly outsiders, from times present, past, and future. They deal with issues as mundane as housework, as personal as mental health, as sublime as appreciating art, and as final as facing death. There is an emphasis on the importance of mastering one's craft as well as the importance of accepting oneself.

These juxtapositions are illustrated in the album's instrumentation which ranges from the stripped down solo voice and classical guitar of 'Shoe Shopping: A Poem', to the power trio set up of electric guitar, bass, and drums on 'The Dragon'. Along the way are appearances of mournful harmonica on 'Apathy', military glockenspiel on 'The Circle', contemplative double bass on 'After the Battle', eerie flower pot on 'Garden Wish', and synths and growls on 'I am Chaos'. The emotional highs and lows of the stories are conveyed with the help of melody and dissonance, odd and shifting time signatures, and a mixture of soft and chaotic finger-picking. The voices in our heads, positive and negative, make themselves heard in the backing vocals.

This is a deeply personal album that gives a clear and unobstructed view into the heart and mind of Kyla Tilley. While it highlights the needs of the self, there is plenty to relate to in the failures and triumphs of the album's protagonists. The takeaway message of giving yourself permission to dream big and do the things that give meaning to life is meant for all listeners, and the album begins and ends with a plea to do just that.



Bloom & Grow: Come on kid, don't dwell in regret and mistakes of the past. Do your best. Think big. Go out there and do great things!

Swimsuit & Axe: But things can get really bad, and you might get really down. Don't forget to take matters into your own hands. You have the power to heal yourself.

The League: We can do great things when we're inspired. When we have the drive. We can overcome all kinds of obstacles. Embrace the hunger!

Garden Wish: But sometimes other people and commitments and obligations are so confusing and overwhelming that we have to run away from everything.

Apathy: And sometimes we lose our drive. Sometimes we can't be bothered with anything.

Shoe Shopping A Poem: So we need to find a spark. Let others inspire us with their mastery. Remind us who we are.

I Am Chaos: And reset. Put everything in order. We can picture the perfect future, but sometimes the obstacle in the way is ourselves.

The Dragon: But we can grow to acknowledge, understand, and accept our shortcomings and run with them. Once you accept yourself you can choose your path and stick with it.

One Foot In Front of the Other: So put one foot in front of the other and keep going. You can do it kid. Good things lie ahead.

The Circle: We've spent a lot of time working on ourselves. Now's the time to quiet those pesky inner voices and go to work. This weird path we've chosen is what makes life meaningful after all.

After the Battle: When all's said and done, we all go back into the earth, time marches on, the grass grows all around us and there's probably no point, but isn't there so much beauty in this world?

Song Like John: Because in the end, that doesn't matter either. Give yourself permission to do what you want to do and do it.



In loving memory of Neville Tilley, my dad. (1939-2021)

Big thank yous go out to:

Katie Zaccardi for the coaching. It's been more helpful than you'll ever know.
Sahara Jane, Ken Shorley, OrangeG, and Scott Kingsley for catering to my whims! You've all added so much to the songs.
Sarah Spencer of Song Fancy, and Murray Foster and Mary Krause of Toronto Songwriting School for the inspiration.
My stalwart Twitch viewers! You folks are the best!

Liss Victory, Wes Mason, and everyone involved with Hambones Open Mic, and
Rob Hinkal, Rowan Corbett, and everyone involved with Rob's Virtual Open Mic. I am coming to all of your towns.

Fabian Tormin at plätlin mastering, and Chris Saracino at Standard Media. It's been a pleasure working with you.
The Real Michael Lee for lending your skills.
Neil Conway for the use of a very nice bass. Let's hang out this summer.
Jillian Hammond for helping us find the perfect spot to set up a studio.
Art Menius, Nicolle Bell-Dupas, and Seán Crossey for helping me get this music heard.
MusicNL, NERFA, and FAI for all the really useful online offerings during these plague times.
Ryu Ga Gotoku Studios for giving us the Yakuza games. They kept my mental state healthy during multiple lockdowns,
and continue to inspire me to do my thing my way.
Marlys Tilley for the support and encouragement, as well the delightfully acerbic wit.
Cara Winsor Hehir for writing such brilliant lyrics and convincing me to take my clothes off.

The biggest squishiest thank you to Julian Squires, the only person on this earth who can drum to the beat of my walk. I love you.

credits

released August 2, 2022

All songs written by Kyla Tilley (SOCAN)
except
Swimsuit & Axe (2) and Song Like John (12)
Music: Kyla Tilley
Lyrics: Cara Winsor Hehir (SOCAN)


Kyla Tilley: lead vocals, classical guitar on all tracks
electric guitar: tracks 8, 9, 11
bass: tracks 1,2, 4, 5, 7-10, and 12
backing vocals: tracks 1, 2, 7, 8, 10, 12
glockenspiel: track 10
synth guitar: track 7

Sahara Jane: backing vocals: track 4
Ken Shorley: flower pot percussion: track 4
OrangeG: backing vocals, harmonica: track 5
Scott Kingsley: double bass: track 11

Julian Squires: drums: tracks 1-4, 8-10, 12
bass: track 3
analog synth, growls: track 7
field recording of birds: track 11

Recorded in Newfoundland & Labrador
Produced by Kyla Tilley (All questionable decisions are my own and I stand by them.)
Mixed by Julian Squires
Mastered by Fabian Tormin at plätlin mastering, Hamburg Germany

Photography and Graphic Design: Julian Squires

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Kyla Tilley Newfoundland and Labrador

Kyla Tilley plays guitar, wears high heels, and writes sometimes sad, often funny, occasionally disconcerting, story-telling songs which rarely rhyme.

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